Director: James Wan (is that a surprise? He seemingly directs everything now!)
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose “The Hotness” Byrne, Barbara “Candy Bar” Hershey
“The best time travelling ghost story of 2013” – Me
There are a few signs of a good horror movie. One sign is a brown stain in your shorts. Another is uncontrollable weeping. If it’s gory enough, another sign is projectile vomiting (the last time I did that, I apparently drank half a gallon of prune juice, and had it all spray back out. I was able to get it into the toilet from 5 feet off! That has to be a record!). Another sign is the movie haunting you even after you’ve left the theater/turned off the TV. Insidious the First was such a film. It made me pull my feet up off the floor, so boogey men (or boogey people) couldn’t grab my feet. I held on to my brother for more than half of the film. I am pleased to say the second Insidious part 2 is such a film. I was on edge and creeped out, and that was before the movie even started! That was mainly due to the old couple sitting behind me though. Not that old people are inherently creepy (which they are, especially when they smell like old vegetables), but because they took turns pointing at me with their old gnarled arthritis-ridden fingers. The old man glared at me, like this:
By the end of the film, they had vanished so I didn’t have anything to worry about when it came time to leave. So what did I think of the film? Read on to find out!
I really don’t want to tell you anything about the movie, I feel the less you know about it the better! I will touch on some basic points that made me appreciate the film even more than the first one. This was more of what you loved (or should love) about the first one…creepy locations, weird side characters, old people, those two ghost hunter guys, and a good story. When I said earlier that I was on edge and creeped out, I was not lying. I jumped at a couple of different points during the movie, and not all of them were due to that old faithful cop out of scary movies. You know who I am talking about, it’s Mr. Jump Scare himself. I know this review is going to be short, so let’s call this one a recommendation. Like “that Chris guy from the Nerdcronomicon really liked Insidious 2, so we should go see it! And then shower him with gifts for recommending it to us!”. Do that and we will all be happy. One more thing before I go. I was so scared when I left the theater that I almost asked my parents if I could sleep in their room with them. If not in the bed, then at least build a pallet or small fort on the floor. I didn’t ask them though, but only because I think my dad had some bad gas that night. In conclusion…do yourself a favor, AND GO SEE THIS MOVIE!