Chris

 

***DISCLAIMER*** This biography was written by a paid biographer.

 

Chris…what can be said about him that has not already been documented in telenovelas and made for TV movies that air on Lifetime? Well he loves movies. Good ones, bad ones, awful ones…especially awful ones. These give him hope, as a budding filmmaker, he sees a travesty such as Serial Insane Clown Killers, and it reaffirms his belief that he can make something better. Plus it makes for lots of laughs. Let’s delve into the history of the man behind the legend before I expound upon the many intricacies and fascinating stories about me him.

 

Chris was born and raised in the sleepy little burg of Pine Castle, a village located near Orlando, which is in Florida, which in turn is in the United States, which can be found on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way galaxy, which is on the back of a giant turtle named Penicillin. Chris’ love for all things scary and horrifying began when he was 6 or 7, and was shown George Romero’s Day of the Dead by his uncle Ed (the movie Evil Ed is not based upon this story). He was fascinated by it, and from that day forth, he was hooked. His mother was not one to allow her son to watch such things, but his father had a more liberal approach. His love of horror continued into his teen years, when he spent many a night staying up late with his friend Richard watching horror movies rented at the local Blockbuster (for all intents and purposes, may it RIP). Nights like this introduced him to classics such as Brain Dead (Dead Alive), and Evil Dead. As I he got older, he regretted not keeping his old horror movies on VHS (from what he told me, he actually castrated himself over this). Once he recovered from his loss, Chris entered into employment at a call center, wherein he met Silvia and Tyson. Eventually he learned of their shared love of horror, and hatred of kites. Thus with the trinity complete, they embarked upon a journey to their favorite lunch spot (well two out of three of them would agree with this), and The Nerdcronomicon was born. At that time, the blog remained nameless, but then one day, the name was issued forth from Silvia’s lips, and it cemented itself a place in the record books (The books recording the story of The Nerdcronomicon, which is bound in faux-leather, and written in red ink). I will end this biography with some of Chris’ likes, dislikes, and favorite horror movies.

 

Likes

Cheesy movies

Beautiful women

Spending time with good friends

Rescuing princesses

Habanero’s

 

Dislikes

Cheesy bread

Mean people

Dirty socks

Flying cockroaches

Not eating at Habanero’s

 

Favorite Horror Movies of All Time So Far

Day of the Dead (the original one, not the crappy remake with washed up actors)

Jackhammer Massacre (for comedic reasons only!)

Halloween (the original)

The Thing (also the original, but the prequel isn’t too bad)

 

 

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